1752

之前我本来想写一篇最近我一个人在家过周末的情况，这在当下的陪读情况下堪称奢侈，一般来说我周六上午离开陪读的房子，在那之前我都会尽我所能把孩子周末学习要使用的各种资料打印，准备好，尽可能安抚孩子和老婆的情绪，为得到一个安宁的周末做铺垫。随后我就会坐地铁回本部，在地铁上完成每日的基础单词学习，把多邻国打卡做足分量，下车后会直接去距离家最近的咖啡店，一般到店的时候是上午11点多，我会在d店里读书到12点半，起身收拾好东西，向店员妹妹投去告别的信号后，得到对方的“慢走”回复，开始往家走。在路上点好外卖，通常是街边小吃，麻辣烫，鸡骨棒，麻辣串，炸货，或者是过桥米线之类的，都是在我印象深处最馋的物事，然后回家瘫坐在沙发上听几期反贼言论…

It’s hard to demonstrate this kind of thing in my mother tongue so I will narrate it in English.
After lunch I would visit a paid porn website, to view what had been updated in the past week.
I am not a lolicon but pursuing fresh, tender, pink, and juicy bodies is more like an instinct. Under our current cultural characteristics, this instinct would be regarded as obscene and filthy. If it is a kind of sin, it is one of the original sins.
More teenagers decided to create porn content to make quick money, some of them even consider it as their career.
It’s hard to say what if the pornographic industry has its value of existence. At least for me, it helps a lot. I understood different sexual inclinations by watching porn, although there are tremendous misguidings in porn products. Websites like pornhub categorized all the content into sections.
I analyzed myself a bit and found out I might be 30% breast fetishism, 20% armpit fetishism, 40% foot fetishism, and 10% others.
You can’t explain this to most of your friends, let alone your relatives, according to our tradition, this stuff should be transferred furtively. Just like a love palace painting inside a pair of wedding shoes.
And then that thing happened, my wife posted a message on WeChat yesterday evening, saying: “Hide your likes on KuaiShou!”, that was a shock.

I remember I already set my KuaiShou account to be private, but when I checked that again at the time, it turned out I only set content generated by myself to be private, but my likes can be viewed on my pages.
Why the fuck does this App do this?!
Why does my personal preference need to be exposed to my relatives?
Why can’t I just be harmlessly watching soft-porn content like youth showing their feet?
Is the environment tarnishing me or am I one of the elements of this tarnished world?

The result is after manually disliked 1752 shots, my wife called me an “old goat” and refused to talk with me.

I feel so hard to keep on being a human being.